Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
