Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize