There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
