She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
