I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
