happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
