I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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