if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
