did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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