I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
