the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize