Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
