do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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