GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
