where does the pee come out of this thing
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
