You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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