Your face is a jimmy john
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
