Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
