I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
