kristin has been a bad kristin
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize