she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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