Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
