And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
