If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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