Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Sorry my hands just texted you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
