I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
His nipple licking is glorious
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