Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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