im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
