We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
