Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's just like the Real World with babies
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize