Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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