She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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