worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Mom said you looked used
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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