At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize