Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
