grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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