You can't special order awesome
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
