i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We named our party play list daddy issues
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
