Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
