A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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