I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
