I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
