Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
