ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
