just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
