I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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