Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
