She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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