The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
