Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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