cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
