If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
