i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize