WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
