So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
