My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
