My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
