You're my little dorito
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
