We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
