I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize